Non-Pool
Topic: Ah, the Aberdonian

An Aberdonian was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.

Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.

Looking around, he realized they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Scot.

Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and... put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening... red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Aberdonian started to get 'those feelings' again.

He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and realizing he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear,

'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

lol, who sent you that Dave?

hmmmm

You got me... I'm busted!

Frankly, I post all the decent ones you send me, so nowadays I don't even bother to give you the credit!

A Glaswegian ventriloquist visiting Aberdeenshire walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aberdonian

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Weegie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Aberdonian: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Aberdonian: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Aberdonian: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Aberdonian: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Aberdonian: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Aberdonian: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f * cking liar…'





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Tookster's standard comment on spotting somebody miss a shot... "I would have got that!"